In Loving Memory of K.V.Muthu

Filial son, patient husband, loving father, respected teacher and superstar friend.
After 32 years, these are the things I know for sure about my father.

He died at the tender age of 40. His children were 9 and 6. His wife was 34. He was an only child of Kathan and Kamachi. Both survived him to see their only 2 granchildren grow up. These are numbers I never forget.

His death made no sense, a massive coronary right after umpiring a hockey match. In those days, we didn't know the things we now know about heart disease. Even though she doesn't ever say it, I know that my mum is anxious for both her children to reach the age of 40, alive. My brother made it to 40 last year and I have 2 years to go. It was a turbulent year for him (my brother) and all our plans for a big family celebration were shelved. Tickets had been booked but we never made the trip. Well, I will be more than happy to plan a big bash for his 50th. After all, "He ain't heavy, he's my brother".

My father, Muthu or to be exact Veeramuthu @ Mondi Andi s/o Kathan it would seem, left so suddenly leaving nothing more than a family in mourning. That, I know for sure, he did not do. He left us the precious gift of friendship. A legacy of friends, who till today, stand by us, the family of Muthu.

The other things I wonder about my father, I am not sure of. And so, my quest to know the person he was continues. I tread carefully for all his friends do not speak of him often. Although its 32 years later and they are almost or passed 70, it is not easy for them to speak of the late Muthu without getting emotional. They do not know that I have hung on to every word they have said about my father in my presence. I've been putting the pieces of this puzzle in my mind for years. My work is not done; I want to know so much more.

I thank God for all the blessings onto my family which has grown from 3 to 10 thanks to the 5 grandchildren God gave my mother. I know for sure, my father has been looking out for us from above.

For everyone else, 31st August is Merdeka Day but for me, it is also the day my father was buried. He passed away on 30 August 1976.

Papa, know that you are loved.

Highlights of our Malaysian Road Trip

I know that this post is long overdue. We had a great time on the road trip and we think the kids (except for Mishya) will remember it for a long time to come. They They have now been to all the states in Peninsula Malaysia. Hooray! On this trip, we went to 7 states; Pahang, Trengganu, Kelantan, Perak, Perlis, Kedah and our all-time favourite Penang. Since, I am too lazy to write about the trip in full which is what I planned to do if I had brought along the laptop, I shall instead post highlights of the trip. Yes, always the lazy way out! Please note that highlights are according to merit which is why I am starting with 10.

10) Pantai Batu Buruk, Trengganu - Balan and I really loved the beach here the last time we were in Trengganu which was about 10 years ago. But this time we didn't find it as beautiful as we remember but sometimes I think we're just too nostalgic and dislike any kind of development to the places we love. I don't know, I think we need to go back and re-look this beach again with a different eye.

9)Kheng Pin Coffeeshop, Penang - The children enjoyed the hawker food at this coffee shop on Penang Road. Our oldest child especially, does not like to eat in coffee shops because he deems it dirty and noisy but on that day, the food won him over. They were sweating, their cheeks were flushed, they were cramped (bec its always crowded) and yet, they were so deliriously happy. It made our day because this is the kind of thing we want them to appreciate about Malaysia!

8)Ferry Ride, Butterwoth to Penang - This was a first for the kids and our helper. Rohen (always the sceptic) told the father that he was afraid the ferry would sink as he had seen it happen in the news! So, we assured him the ferry services in our country are very safe. The last time I took the ferry from Butterworth was in the 80s' so things have definitely changed so much. Everything is so neat and tidy now, not the chaos that reigned in those days. I remember how long the queues used to be and how it seemed like an endless queue because no proper system was in place. But now, things are being done so well. Hats off to the people at the Butterwoth/Penang Ferry services! The kids and Kakak (our helper) enjoyed the ferry ride so much. Mishya, our youngest missed the whole journey bec she decided to take a nap. Poor thing! We'll take her again when she's bigger. They enjoyed the view of the bridge, Penang Hill, Komtar and looking across to Penang Island. Also, they were hoping to see some fish! Fat hopes!!

7)Snacks, Kelantan - Driving to Pulau Banding, there were lots of stalls by the side of the road selling kuih bahulu and other snacks. We were pleasantly surprised bec everyone in the family loves bahulu (my mum-in-law makes lovely bahulu) which we get to enjoy during Deepavali and Chinese New Year. But here it was, bahulu seemed to be sold everyday, by the roadside and after passing many, many stalls, we decided that we just had to stop and buy some. First of all, I must say that we met the nicest people in Kelantan. Everyone we came across at the hotel, in the restaurants, food stalls, at the beach, at the Pengkalan Buloh market were so nice, polite and pleasant to us. The lady at this stall was no different. She let me try everything before I bought anything. She had different kinds of bahulu but I settled on the normal egg bahulu and the ones made out of gula melaka. I also bought a bag of mini curry puffs which she said had smoked fish in it. Those little curry puffs turned out to be heavenly! Because the side of the road was so narrow, I had to make a quick exit and didn't get a chance to take a photo. We're definitely going back to Kelantan. We've decided that its going to be a stand alone trip the next time we go. We love Kelantan!

6)Road Side Stall, Tanah Merah, Kelantan - The reason this was so memorable was because we never expected to have such a hearty meal in the middle of nowhere. Our lunch of steamed rice, fried chicken, salted egg, fried cabbage/long beans and samble belancan was simply superb! Simple, sumptous and cheap!

5)Chief Minister, Penang - Meeting YB Lim Guan Eng at the Parkroyal Hotel lobby.I think I looked like a BN supporter (must be the civil servant upbringing) so he sort of was trying to avert his eyes until I stopped him in his tracks (I think maybe his bodyguards panicked! he he!)by saying, "Can I shake your hand?". Immediately, he put his hand out and I shook it while congratulating him. He was extremely gracious, humble and down-to-earth. If only all our wakils rakyats were like that. Hope he stays the way he is.

4)Parkroyal Penang - After so many days on the road, our two nights here were pure bliss. We ate, slept, relaxed, swam, ate, slept, relaxed, bought cheap DVDs, ate, slept, relaxed and that's about it. We had trouble with one of our air-conds but that got sorted out by the 2nd day. Service was good, as usual. The kids love music especially live bands so on one of the evenings, we took them down to the lobby lounge to hear the band. They really enjoyed it and Tishya even had the singer serenading to her.

3)Sungei Petani, Kedah - We spent night at my Jee Ee's (2nd maternal aunt) place. Her grandchild, Andri was there for the holidays too. The stop in SP was meant to be a very short one as we were supposed to arrive late in the evening and leave early in the morning for Penang. Turns out, we arrived early in the evening and left late morning the next day. The kids got on like a house on fire. It is always a joy to see the counsins together, getting along and having fun. Also, they had so many things to do as they had their own little blackboard in the frontyard and had lots os space to round around. My Jee Ee's husband whom I call Jee Tiow (husband of 2nd maternal aunt) took the kids round on his motorcycle. He made it interesting by riding throught he nearby villages where they saw chickens, ducks, cows, goats and even a turkey. So, it was quite an experience for them. The stop in SP turned out to be a very pleasant one with good company and lots of laughter.


2)Hai Peng Coffeeshop, Kemaman - Balan and I love Malaysian coffee. Everytime we travel out of KL, we make it a point to try malaysian coffee from all over. So far, our favourite coffee joint is the Kluang Station Coffeeshop (not the franchise but the original). Well, now Hai Peng is Numero Uno! We left Kuantan sharp 6.30pm. Kids were in their pyjamas when we bundled them into the car. When we arrived Kemaman at 7.20am, the morning air was fresh, Kemaman hadn't been polluted by the smoke from all the holidaymakers and the coffeeshop seemed to consist of only locals. This was how we wanted to visit it; at its best without the ugly kiasu tourists! Okay, I do realise that my family and I were also tourist but we're not kiasu! We ate nasi lemak, nasi lemak ikan (oh so delicious!), roti bakar kaya, half boiled eggs and the wonderful coffee. It was superb. Not too sweet, not too bitter, not sourish (like some malaysian coffee); it was JUST NICE! Everyone enjoyed their breakfast but of course it was more special for Balan and I because we had FINALLY made it to Hai Peng. We will, of course be back.

1)The Road Trip namely Jeli-Pulau Banding & P.Banding-Sg Petani through Baling & Pengkalan Hulu - Of all the wonderful things we experienced during our trip, what tops our list is the journey itself. From the time we have been together, Balan and I have loved travelling. For us, our holidays begin with the journey. Our journey begins the moment we leave home. Balan was excited to be seeing and driving on the East-West Highway for the first time. I was excited for him. But both of us were more excited about the road trip from Pulau Banding to Sungei Petani through Baling and Pengkalan Hulu. We have read about how beautiful the landscapes are in these 2 isolated towns. Being the only one who has been to this part of Malaysia, I was obsessed about telling them everything I remember about my last 2 journeys from memory. I went on and on about the elephant crossing. We planned to take photos at the elephant crossing but the volume of traffic along this stretch of the highway is so heavy these days, its almost impossible to stop for a photo shot especially with kids. That said, of course, it was impossible to get me on the bridge at Pulau Banding with my hands across like I did in 1991 and 1993! There was no way to stop at all. That night, we stayed at Belum Forest Resort at Pulau Banding. It is newly-opened and is quite nice for a short stopover. The moment we started the drive in Pengkalan Hulu/Baling territory, the landscape completely changed from flat, green and humid to hilly, all different shades of green to airy. The roads became windy and we were climbing and then we would go down a valley and then climb again. It was so quaint and romantic. It reminded me of the roads around Kuala Pilah only much much better. That journey alone, made the trip for us.

I miss them....

Its been 4 days since we left our two older kids in Melaka with their grandparents. Its important to us that they spend quality time with their grandparents. Their Tata (paternal grandfather) and Pati (paternal grandmother) are wonderful doting grandparents. They indulge them not to the point of spoiling them and just savour all the time they spend with them. They are patient and take the trouble to teach and show their city "cucus" (grandchildren) lots of everyday things which they would not have had a chance to experience staying in a concrete condominium block high in the sky! I digress. I am missing Rohen and Tishya so much. This is what I wanted to say. Can't wait for Friday; they'll be back and of course the noise levels in KL will go up again!! :-)

MALAYSIAN ROAD TRIP

Our dream of going on our very own Malaysian Road Trip came through yesterday. Since the kids were born, we have been talking about taking this road trip as we felt that the children; being born and bred in the city have become too "city" for our liking. When they see a cow on the road, the way they scream, one would think that they saw a spaceship! But no, it was only a cow!! Being the kind of people who hate crowds, we always make it a point to avoid travelling during public holidays but with the kids in school, it makes more sense to travel during this time. I booked early so that the hotel rooms would be cheaper as I notice that when you book the last minute, the price tend to be higher. As we are now a single-income family, the budget was a main criteria so it was important to make the best of the budget!

Our last long trip was Australia in 2004. After that, we have had lots of long weekends all over Malaysia and Singapore but not an adventurous 10-day trip like this one. With the price of airfares sky-high especially if buying for 6 including our wonderful helper who is part of the family, we decided that flying is out for now. So, with the kids all grown at 4,6 & 8 years, we decided to take this road trip which will take us from KL-Kuantan-KB(through Kemaman, Marang, KT)-Pulau Banding (the newly opened Belum Forest Resort)-Kangar(through Baling for a day trip)-Sungei Petani(overnight)-Penang(our favourite destination for 2 nights)-Ipoh-KL(Home Sweet Home). Hubby has never been on the East-West Highway which has long held intrigue for him. I have been twice during my university days and I remember how scenic it was. I have a picture of myself right smack in the middle of the Pulau Banding bridge with my hands streched across. I remember how beautiful it was!

We're spending 2 nights in Kuantan with my godparents before we head for Kota Bahru tomorrow. We arrived late yesterday after some "smart" packing because after Kuantan, we won't have a chance to do our laundry until Penang because its one night everywhere. In Penang, we have found a very nice Auntie who runs a laundry near Pulau Tikus to wash our clothes. She does it so well and is such a nice and friedly lady.

We arrived to a wonderful late tea spread of dainty chicken curry and fish/egg curry puffs which were lovely. My godmother who is a gourmet cook whipped up a sumptious dinner of ikan bakar (really deliciou), stir-fried prawns, mutton stew and vegetables. Dinner was wonderful, to say the least. The 2 older kids stayed up late (which is a previlege during the hols) and Mishya went to sleep as usual at 8.30pm. The heat was unbearable; thank god for the air-cond rooms. We had a good night's sleep and everyone was awake by 7.30am this morning.

Auntie Gwen (God bless her), went out to buy nasi lemak bungkus which Balan, Mishya and I enjoyed while Rohen and Tishya ate sausages with bread. Topped off with a nice coffee, it was a great start to the day. We then decided to take the "heat" off by going to Giant to buy some things; I have only 2 words - AIR CONDITIONING! In Giant, our not-so-little baby, Mishya decided to throw one of her shoes away. We went round looking for it but couldn't find it. She is now shoe-less. So, we'll have to take another trip to the shopping mall later today.

We had the famour Kuantan Curry Laksa for lunch (adults) and Fish Ball Noodles (kids) and now, the kids are taking a rest. Come this evening, we're heading for Telok Cempedak which is a very short drive away. Balan and I don't like Telok Cempedak as it is today, all "new and improved". Its no longer a beautiful beach to watch the sunset and let the breeze sway you to your dreams. There is a big garish McDonalds right smack by the beach and lots of stalls which sell tacky souvenirs. They don't allow us to pack by the side of the beach anymore, you have to park at a sandy carpark behind all the concrete! But I guess we just have to accept the new Telok Cempedak as it is, and look past all the development to find the magic of the place! We'll try.

It will be an early night for all as we leave for KB at 6.30am. Reason being, we want to arrive in KB early in order to explore and because we definitely want to have breakfast at Hai Peng Coffeeshop in Kemaman which is about 1 hour away from Kuantan.

We decided not to bring the laptop along as we realised we would be be spending half our time lugging it around and worrying if we left it in the hotel room. So, I'll blog again when I have access to a computer!

Over and out :-)

Gang Larut Malam

I've always regarded my years in the university as the best times of my life. Our only job as students was to study hard and graduate. The rest of the time, I was busy with my wonderful "gang larut malam". I do regret that when I finally fell in love for "real" to my now present husband, being with the gang did take a backseat although we still did lots of things together. And then, after we graduated, taking our friendship for granted, most of us lost touch. Being older and wiser, I realise now how lucky we were to have shared the most pure and beautiful kind of friendships imaginable; we loved, respected and trusted each other unconditionally and with deep loyalty. That is friendship is its purest form. No barriers, no secrets, lots of diverse opinions and views which would often result in a temporary "war" but mostly it was loyalty, respect and love. If you were to look at us, it would seem that we did not have anything in common; race, religion, homestates, backgrounds, areas of study- we were as different as night and day. When we lost touch, we didn't realise that some of us would not see each other for the next 14 years!
Today, I met 2 of them; 2 wonderful friends who have been missing from my life but not my heart. It made 25 April 2008 possibly one of the best days of my life. After 14 years, what do you think I felt? Love and happiness at seeing my friends healthy and happy. It was as if time had stood still, 14 years had not passed and we were at Dewan Makan catching up on the day's events except, we're now responsible tax-paying citizens of this country, mothers and fathers, husbands and wives! But mostly, as time stood still between 5pm-7.15pm this evening at Equatorial Bangi, our friendship resumed with the same vigour and passion. As I listened and looked into both their eyes, I felt my heart racing, my smile would not wane; happiness and love for these two people flowed through every vein in my body. It confirmed what I've said to my best friend, Shirl; these are people who will be my friends forever even if we never meet again. I've missed them so much! They are imprinted in my heart. You just don't know how much you miss them until you feel the pulse of the friendship again; then you go into overdrive, happiness overflowing and you just don't want the evening to end.

I thank god for making today possible. I've prayed and wished for this day to come and it did. Of course, now we want to meet up with the rest of the gang? We want to get everyone together under the same roof at the same time?? Is that too much to ask and hope for??? Well, we're working on it, that's for sure.

To Leiman and Mimi, I love you both and have missed you so much. Here's to the next 14 years and the rest of our lives.

JALAN UNGKU MOHD SALLEH, KG MERDEKA, BATU PAHAT

Colin, Wesley and I have not been together in the same room for 20 years until today! What a great day its been! It was Wesley's wedding dinner. Wesley has lived in Australia for the past 20 years, since his mum passed away. We were a threesome. Neighbours, who grew up together on Jalan Ungku Mohd Salleh. Colin and I are of the same age and Wes is 2 years our junior. It doesn't seize to amaze me that 20 years have gone by in a blink of an eye; Wes is now a chef and Colin a specialist in BMWs. Our lives are worlds apart; there should have been akward silences, stiff handshakes and sterile chatter. There was nothing of that; there were warm hugs & handshakes, magical stories of growing up together, the nostalgia of yesteryears and the memory of a friendship so pure. It all came flooding back. I am a sentimental fool. Always have been and always will be. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what life is all about. Making a connection and touching people's lives. Friends who will never forget you no matter how much time has passed and how little contact you have had. They may not know this, but after all these years, I have never forgotten how they have touched my life and that their friendship is imprinted in my heart and mind forever.

I wish upon a star, that the three of us will meet again even if it takes another 20 years!

THE SILENCE

Its been a while since I blogged. It was a conscious decision; there were tough decisions to be made. Well, everything is decided now and I am looking forward to the rest of my life. 10 top things I've learnt while on my blogging break:-

1) I have a wonderful husband who will buy me flowers at the drop of a hat if he can afford it!
2) I have been blessed with more than ONE best friend who will stand by me through thick and thin, rain or shine, in sickness and in health and tell me if I am being an ass!
3) God took one man away from me early in life but gave me an equally worthy man who has and continues to take me through life.
4) Despite my love-hate relationship with my mum (who has been both mother and father), I will be "broken" when it is her time to join her husband in heaven. (yes, I am sure she is going to heaven!).
5)My family, friends and loved ones are the most important people in my life. I will continue to make time for them and cherish them as nothing in the world is more important than that.
6)No job is worth sacrificing your principles and loved ones.
7)Money is important in life but there are many other things which come before it.
8)Don't waste your time defending yourself when the parties involved mean nothing to you. Whatever they take from you, god will give you back in so many other beautiful ways.
9) Every cloud HAS a silver lining (it is a proven fact)
10) Forgive but never forget. Forgiveness helps you move on with life but never forgetting keeps you safe.

I'm still bleeding from all the back stabbing I've experienced but I am alive and kicking. I will never allow myself to be bitter and resentful. That is not me and that will never be me. I live and love with passion. Nothing and no one will take that away from me.

Life is good and I've been blessed.